Last Goal (very last scene)

David walked automatically toward the huge window. He felt the cold window catch and grasped it. His hands were slightly shaking. When he opened the window a cool breeze waved towards his face. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and savored the fresh air. Some minutes ago, he had eavesdropped on his parents’ talk with the doctors. He had heard everything that he needed to know. His first reaction was to panic. He walked to and fro in his room and could not keep a clear head. He thought of everything but nothing specific. He felt as if he would suffocate in a room full of air. There was no other way as to calm down. He had to order his thoughts and do something, because his parents would soon come back to his room. Then, he had made that decision and now he was standing at the open window. He looked down and noticed that he had to be in the forth or fifth floor. He was not sure. The only thing he knew was that it was a long way down there. He thanked God that he was not afraid of heights. He was wondering whether he would feel the bounce and if so how much it would hurt until it is over. It was ridiculous. Yesterday, everything was perfect. How can one day change everything? He thought of his last soccer game and how he made three goals. He had never thought that this game might be his last one. Now, his life was a mess. He wished that he had not to do the last step but that it was over already. He opened his eyes and stepped on the window sill. Suddenly, he felt strangely brave. Standing on the window sill was standing on the edge of life and death. He felt powerful. Only he decided what will happen next. If he is going to die soon then it is because he wanted it and not because metastases would kill him slowly. All his weight lasted on his feet. He stepped a little forward so that his toes were in the air. He seesawed to and fro and could not decide what to do next. Jump! He moved forward but hesitated. Not yet. He was not ready yet. But he knew the longer he will wait the more insecure he will become. What would his parents think of him? Will they regard him as a hero or a covert? He wanted to stay in his parents’ memory as the boy he was until yesterday. He was wondering if he should leave them a note and explain himself. But if he wrote something he would not have been able to do anymore what he was about to do. Besides, there was not time for that. They could come back into his room any minute. He felt his pulse rising and he could hear his heart beat. His blood drummed in his veins. He heard somebody open his room door and turned around. He looked into the scarred eyes of a young nurse. He did not want to be a burden to his parents. He knew his mom could not stand seeing him dying slowly. He felt helpless. He panicked. He jumped.

When he bounced on the ground and heard his bones smash. He was not dead yet as he hoped he would be. The fall was not as long as he expected. He could not move and he felt that horrible pain in his chest. A rip had drilled into his lungs. He had difficulties breathing. He did not know how hurtful it was to die. He could not think of anything but his pain. From a distance he heard somebody screaming and recognized his mother’s voice. He felt so sorry for her and his dad. But he just wanted to protect him. Before he closed his eyes he was hoping they will forgive him.

Response on “Burning” by Ashley Thompson (VLP)

I like this short story very much since it allows the reader to get an insight into the mind of a person who is mentally ill.

The main character Gerry feels to be on some kind of secret mission finding the burn he permanently smells. Looking for the burn is his “new purpose in life”. He’s checking everywhere. He “started at my bed […] Then under the bed, the floor, the walls, the closets, the outlets”, but cannot find any fire.

The author puts the reader in the Gerry’s position and lets us see and feel what Gerry sees and feel. Gerry is mentally ill. Obviously, he has perception disorders, since he thinks that people cannot see him when he does not see them. He hides under his bed sheets and believes his sister cannot see him. Even when she asks him to get out from under his covers he still thinks she “wondered if I was really under there”. He has totally lost his sense for reality.

At the end of the story we learn that his brother Tony makes him go to the “Sunshine Mental Health Hospital”. The name of this institution is ridiculous alone. Then, Gerry talks to the doctor and tells him about the burn. He insists that he’s fine, but “I don’t think your hospital is”. However, he has vowed “to be quiet about my mission” and pretended to understand what the doctor is saying. But instead, he plans to “get back to the burn later”.

Scene Two of "Last Goal"

This week I want to make up for some blog entries that were due in October. In October, I had little time to keep up with my posts, because I travelled a lot. Since, I’m here for this semester only I wanted to see as much of South Dakota as possible.

***

Until today, David never thought something bad could happen to him. Actually, he felt as healthy as somebody can feel except his nervousness, of course. He tried to recall what had happened a couple of hours ago. However, he still could not believe it.

He had headed for school since he was late again. Suddenly, he felt weird and a little dizzy and his legs became heavy. He fell. He was unconscious before he hit the ground. A concerned woman stopped by and called the ambulance. He was brought to the ER and they run some tests. When he woke up, he found himself in a hospital room. His body was aching. It was the same pain that he had been feeling for a couple of weeks only stronger. At this point he was not concerned yet, since a nurse told him he had a circulatory collapse and that he needs to stay for some more tests. He expected his parents coming soon. He got out of the bed and walked to the window. It was a very beautiful day. There was no cloud in the sky and it was very warm for that time of the year. Actually, he felt pity for all his classmates who had to take their finals today. He heard someone opening his room door and turned around. It was his mom and his dad. He was so happy to see them. But wait! His mom looked different today. She was very pale and had glossy eyes. His dad had this type of wrinkles on his forehead that did not mean anything good. When they saw him, they tried to smile. But both their smiles looked rather constraint than real. And his mother’s eyes told him she did not feel like smiling at all. Now the most creepy moment was reached and his mood changed rapidly.
His parents did not need to say anything. He already knew that something was wrong. His mother then said something to him what was even more scarry than her reddish puffy eyes. She told David that he better sat down because they had to talk to him…

Last Goal

This week’s creative blog entry is the first scene of one of my short story I’m working on right now.


David was very nervous. As nervous as he had never been before. And he was anxious, too. Normally, he was the easy-going guy everybody wants to be. His friends liked him pretty much. And he had tons of friends. There was no party without him, in fact, inviting him guaranteed a successful party. Everybody liked his humorous manner. David loved his life. He seemed to have everything his classmates dreamt of: He had excellent grades, was the best soccer player of his school so that he usually got picked first, and even worse he had too many female friends. His parents were not rich, but they always had money left for him if he needed some.

But something has changed. Today, he was wondering how much luck a single person deserves. Are there any rules for luck and bad luck? He thought of one of his best friends Jimmy who had lost his father two years ago. Or Kathryn, who was still suffering from an accident she had last winter. David, Kathryn and some other guys went skiing. It was supposed to be the best holiday ever. The second day they decided throwing a party and getting some beer. Actually, David was supposed to go. But he got a phone call from his girlfriend and so Kathryn went. A few minutes later the police rang on their apartment door telling them that Kathryn had been hit by a drunken car driver. Frightened, they went to the hospital looking after her. The doctors said that she had luck since it could be worse. Luck? Yes, of course, was she lucky. She was hit by a car and not by a truck. And she was lucky that the car driver stopped even though he was drunk and that he called the police and that he did not leave her alone. However, she broke her hip and has still problems walking. That night, the real lucky person was David, since he got that phone call. And he knew it…

Response on “The Underdog“ by Sean Johnston

In my opinion, the short story “The Underdog“ by Sean Johnston was on the one hand very confusing and on the other hand very interesting in terms of how it describes the violent relationships of the other characters toward the Underdog.

Generally, the story offered very little information about the time it is set in or what war the speaker was telling about. Also, I missed more detailed information about the Underdog himself such as what exactly makes him being the Underdog and how did he slip into this role? To me, the text leaves out too many details what makes it rather hard to approach its content.

However, I liked the way the text represented the relationships between the other characters toward the Underdog. It seemed to me that violence plays a big role in this story. It was rather unsettling to read that two characters of the story, the speaker and the preacher’s wife, were tempted to hurt the Underdog physically. Also, the text mentions that the Underdog suffers from several wounds that symbolize physical violence as well. Besides physical violence, the story displays emotional violence, too. So, I think the worst thing for the Underdog is not being injured physically but emotionally. He obviously suffers not as much from “his missing ear” but from being constantly pitied even by his own children.

To sum up, to me the story of the Underdog strikes through its display of different types of violence human beings can suffer from. However, it leaves out too much crucial information which is necessary for the better understanding of the text.

Response on "This House" by Sean Johnston

The short story “This House” written by Sean Johnston is about the troublesome relationship between a mother and her husband (or is it her son? I’m not sure about that). The mother seems to be very controlling and religious and her husband on the other hand sees her as an enemy rather than a caring wife. So when he is actually dead, he comes back as some sort of ghost and watches her. It seems that he enjoys not being criticized any longer by the mother because he says: “You may be thin air, fine, but she doesn’t even hear the sound of glass when you almost drop the bottle pouring.” This passage also presents the main problem between these two characters, namely, his alcohol abuse.

The wife on the other hand seems to be very religious. This becomes very obvious in the following text passage:

“Some day, everything will change, she said, and those that keep their mouths shut will babble with such fierce power the ones that couldn’t shut up will have no choice. They that are fattened and gorged on money from blood will be sickened while the starved finally swallow their own pure hearts and grow to astounding heights. And the blind will see.” This strongly reminds me of the Bible and Matthew’s book which states that "So the last shall be first, and the first last."

In comparison to “The Underdog”, this story is too unrealistic for my taste. The story would make perfect sense if the husband would not appear to be a ghost at the end.

Who Are You? (Part 2)

I try to look cheerful while tears are running down my cheeks. I don’t know why I’m always reacting like this. I should have known better. Really, I should. “Could you please sit down, Mommy? It’s your favorite soup, you know. I cooked it myself. I know, it’s not so good as yours, but I tried my best. Try something of it and tell me if you like it. Okay, you don’t know where to sit down? There is the chair, see? ” When I look at you I can’t hold my tears. I hope you don’t notice it. “After all these years I still can’t accept what has happened. Why you? Why me? Do you know why? No?”
Can she see me? I mean can she really see me? There she sits. She looks as if collapsed back upon herself in a world of strangers. Strangers… “How often was I annoyed about you, Mommy, but only because I didn’t see what you saw. But how could I? You looked as ever in your fancy dress. I didn’t realize you were changing until it was too late. It took very long to understand. You’re now in a foreign country where you are all on your own. You don’t know anybody and you don’t understand their language. Everything is alien. People are talking to you but you wouldn’t understand a word. You even can’t understand what the people around you are doing. It seems all very strange- like strange customs you’ve never seen before. And the worst of all is that you’re constantly meeting unknown people who are talking to you and pretend knowing you for ages. Only ever know and then you would smile at them and pretend to know them, too…