Last Goal (very last scene)

David walked automatically toward the huge window. He felt the cold window catch and grasped it. His hands were slightly shaking. When he opened the window a cool breeze waved towards his face. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and savored the fresh air. Some minutes ago, he had eavesdropped on his parents’ talk with the doctors. He had heard everything that he needed to know. His first reaction was to panic. He walked to and fro in his room and could not keep a clear head. He thought of everything but nothing specific. He felt as if he would suffocate in a room full of air. There was no other way as to calm down. He had to order his thoughts and do something, because his parents would soon come back to his room. Then, he had made that decision and now he was standing at the open window. He looked down and noticed that he had to be in the forth or fifth floor. He was not sure. The only thing he knew was that it was a long way down there. He thanked God that he was not afraid of heights. He was wondering whether he would feel the bounce and if so how much it would hurt until it is over. It was ridiculous. Yesterday, everything was perfect. How can one day change everything? He thought of his last soccer game and how he made three goals. He had never thought that this game might be his last one. Now, his life was a mess. He wished that he had not to do the last step but that it was over already. He opened his eyes and stepped on the window sill. Suddenly, he felt strangely brave. Standing on the window sill was standing on the edge of life and death. He felt powerful. Only he decided what will happen next. If he is going to die soon then it is because he wanted it and not because metastases would kill him slowly. All his weight lasted on his feet. He stepped a little forward so that his toes were in the air. He seesawed to and fro and could not decide what to do next. Jump! He moved forward but hesitated. Not yet. He was not ready yet. But he knew the longer he will wait the more insecure he will become. What would his parents think of him? Will they regard him as a hero or a covert? He wanted to stay in his parents’ memory as the boy he was until yesterday. He was wondering if he should leave them a note and explain himself. But if he wrote something he would not have been able to do anymore what he was about to do. Besides, there was not time for that. They could come back into his room any minute. He felt his pulse rising and he could hear his heart beat. His blood drummed in his veins. He heard somebody open his room door and turned around. He looked into the scarred eyes of a young nurse. He did not want to be a burden to his parents. He knew his mom could not stand seeing him dying slowly. He felt helpless. He panicked. He jumped.

When he bounced on the ground and heard his bones smash. He was not dead yet as he hoped he would be. The fall was not as long as he expected. He could not move and he felt that horrible pain in his chest. A rip had drilled into his lungs. He had difficulties breathing. He did not know how hurtful it was to die. He could not think of anything but his pain. From a distance he heard somebody screaming and recognized his mother’s voice. He felt so sorry for her and his dad. But he just wanted to protect him. Before he closed his eyes he was hoping they will forgive him.